RWAC has peeked... piqued... peaked

Surprising myself as much as anyone else, I’ve decided to stop anonyblogging.

This blog has peeked
I have succeeded, I think, in giving people a look at the inside of a rabbi’s mind, schedule and life. It hasn’t been pretty, but it’s been authentic, and that is a higher aesthetic value for me.

This blog has piqued
Unquestionably, I’ve annoyed some people out there - I know because they email me. And I’ve given people some things to think about. And I’ve piqued my own curiosity, educating myself about what I’m thinking. So being RWAC has definitely helped me.

But this blog has, for the time being, peaked.
Certainly, I have a lot left to say. I have a list of a dozen or so topics that are just waiting for posts, and that’s just what comes to mind, unbidden, on a day-to-day basis. But I don’t feel a huge urge to write it down and publish it now. The old feeling of anticipation - I wonder what I’ll say, I wonder what the readers will say back - just isn’t there these days.

Part of it is surely just exhaustion; I’m in way over my head in projects, some old, some new, some run-of-the-mill and some rather out there.

Part of it is a feeling of guilt when I take time from my shul, not to mention my family, to craft a post. I’ve never been one of those bloggers who puts real time into a post, editing and re-editing and the like, but there has still been time involved.

Part of it is that I have so much else I want to do. I took some time out to work on a sefer over the past month, and the result has been that I am now working on three sefarim.

Part of it, frankly, is pride. When I post regularly, I get about 200 visitors per day. When I don’t post for a week those numbers get slashed in half, and I look at Sitemeter (yes, I do that) and the stats are pathetic.

And then there’s another factor, which has been growing in me for a quite a long time - probably since my “Out of step with the Jewish blogosphere” post, the one that first catapulted me to the pseudofame of the anonymous blogosphere. I don’t like crafting a good idea and then putting it out there anonymously. I like to take credit.

Yes, that’s ego talking - but it’s still an accurate read of what I’m feeling. I don’t like to work on a meaningful concept or a solid practical suggestion and feel like I can’t attach my name to it. That's one reason many rabbis rabbi - because they feel competent to pontificate publicly, and they don't mind the attention that goes with it.

So I may well start a named blog some time in the future, one that has the serious stuff and some of the humor, but without the snark and potential lashon-hara that has forced me to live undercover as RWAC for the past 18 months.

I’ll leave the blog up, since I do value the things I’ve written here. And I may come back to this blog from time to time, when some thought demands expression and I can't do it under my own name safely.

I’ll continue to read comments on this blog and respond to them, since I can never allow other people the last word.

But for now, I have to retire from this blog.

To my most regular commenters, penpals and friends:
anon1,
Ari (the first blogger to ‘discover’ me, as I recall),
Ayelet,
Barzilai (wherever you’ve gone),
Batya,
Chana,
Daniel from England,
dd (both of you),
Ezzie,
FosterAbba,
Gil (who first made me [in-]famous for defending gedolim),
Halfnutcase,
Isaac,
Jack (who gave me much more than waffles to think about),
Jameel (who never gave me any waffles, but מחול לך because you gave me the moniker RWAC),
Jewish Deaf Motorcycling Dad,
Joel Rich,
Juggling Frogs,
Kol Ra’ash Gadol,
Michael Sedley,
Monica (where have you gone?),
Mordechai Y. Scher,
mother in israel,
Mr. Bagel (to whom I owe the cool logo),
Neil Harris,
Reb Lazer,
Renegade Rebbetzin (where are you?!),
Rivka (please keep blogging!),
seawitch,
Sabine613 (wherever you went),
Schvach,
SephardiLady,
Sheyna (who thought I was cool),
Steg,
Suitepotato,
tf,
Therapydoc,
tnspr569,
Tzipporah (who is very cool),
uberimma,
yingerman (I still wish you blogged more)

-and, of course, AnonymouS-

thank you so much for being here all along. Your readership and friendship has meant a lot to me.

Please keep in touch.

Announcement coming...

...so stay tuned...עוד חזון למועד...

My Guilty Pleasure: Senator Barack Obama, and Optimism

I’ve read all the emails, the articles from Daniel Pipes (not very impressive) and the American Thinker (more compelling), the inadequate response from Ira Forman, the bulletins about anti-Israel Obama counselor Zbegnew Brzenzski (or however he spells his name, usually I’m pretty careful but in this case I’ll make an exception) and about Jeremiah Wright Jr, pastor of Senator Obama and long-time venemously anti-Israel activist.

So I know I should turn my back on Obama’s candidacy, stop watching will.i.am’s “Yes we can” video, stop running “in the unlikely story that is America there has never been anything false about hope” through my head. Wise up, pal, this candidate’s closest associates are opposed to the things you hold dearest.

Besides, I’ve always been a big John McCain fan. I was annoyed beyond measure when our current president got the nomination ahead of Senator McCain eight years ago, and I’m glad (and very relieved) that McCain will beat out Huckabee (who in the world could think that we could elect a guy named President Huckabee, anyway?). So I should just get behind the guy with the guts and the track record and the brains.

But Senator Barack Obama is my guilty pleasure, as he has been ever since I first heard him a few years ago. I just love the things he says - beyond the eloquent style, beyond the articulate words, it’s the message. It’s optimism.

It’s a voice that is so rare in politics, even though its value is obvious.

It’s a dream that so clearly resonates with the electorate, but that politicians fear to express, lest they nourish expectations they cannot fulfill.

It’s what Hillary will never have, frankly, and that’s why she can’t get anyone to take her seriously these days. Hillary is a bitter realist, by virtue of nature and by virtue of experience. Americans prefer an authority figure who smiles sincerely, who traffics in dreams, whose response to a request is “Yes we can” rather than “We’ll see.” It may be unrealistic, but it bespeaks a positive attitude which the great majority of this nation shares, or wishes it could share.

Bill Clinton was elected on optimism; the kid from the town called “Hope” sold a nation on his belief that things could get better.

George W. Bush got his first term because of optimism; remember Al Gore’s doom-and-gloom “social security lockbox”? Remember how many votes it didn’t get him?

Ronald Reagan ring a bell?

(Don’t ask me to explain George Bush Sr. I can’t.)

People who say, "But Obama never says what he is optimistic about, he hasn't staked out a clear platform," miss the point. They're 100% right - but it's not relevant. People love the person who answers the phone asking "How can I help you" right off the bat. It's the person who says, "Whatever you need, I'll work to help you get it." The Naaseh v'Nishma approach, if you will.

Optimism and an upbeat tone are invaluable in the rabbinate, too - People don’t gravitate to a rabbi who moans and groans and goes negative against his real and perceived foes, who lashes out in tirades, whose mussar is bitter and angry. They much prefer someone who smiles and reaches out, who inspires with positive mussar that eschews tearing down in favor of building up.

So I listen to the silver tongue of a man who responded to bitter New Hampshire defeat with a charming smile and a charged “Yes we can” chorus, and against my instincts I wonder… what if they’re all wrong? What if he’s the real deal?

The Dreaded Davkanik

["Davka" is a Hebrew/Aramaic word meaning "precisely" or "specifically". A "davkanik" does things just because.]

You know the person I mean. The passive-aggressive spouse who won't clean up the bathroom sink which you left a mess when you were in a rush, in order to prove a point. The teenage child who wouldn't really mind parking the car neatly but feels a need to demonstrate his independence. The work colleague who shows up three minutes late to the meeting because she's frustrated that everyone else does it, the checkout person who insists on seeing your credit card to verify the signature even though you shop there daily and she knows you by face.

And, of course, the congregant who walks out after the Haftorah for a drink in the coatroom just because the OU made a stink about it two years ago.

But the worst of all, for me, is the davkanik Rabbis.

They exist on both ends of the religious spectrum, left and right.

The lefties insist on having double-ring wedding ceremonies and women's megilah readings and relying on a controversial hechsher and speaking against the Rabbanut in Israel and pontificating against Artscroll, not necessarily because any of these are necessary in a particular situation but just because they feel someone ought to be doing it. I don't care if you won't eat my hechsher, I believe that non-Glatt is just fine, so that's what my caterer will use. I'll stick my hand in your face, woman, until you shake it, because I think it's mutar. And don't you show me a sheitel.

The righty davkaniks, on the other hand, boycott any event of any kind in which seating is mixed, and stand outside fuming and broadcasting their righteous indignation in case anyone isn't already aware of their discontent. They sit down during the tefillah for the IDF and the medinah - even if they are in the middle of Shmoneh Esreih. They are most afraid of maris ayin, and so even if the food at an event is kosher they take a plate and refuse to eat, lest people think they accept the caterer's hashgachah for all future events, because in five years the caterer might switch hashgachot. Not only will they not sit on a beis din with that oisvorf YU rabbi, they won't even shake his hand. (or is that a germ thing?)

The davkaniks are across the political camps, too. One side preaches Pollard on every occasion including their child's first grade Siddur party, the other camp co-opts every opportunity to criticize the 'settlers,' even a community Purim Seudah. But you get the point.

I'm guilty, too, of davkahood, personally and professionally. This post isn't about a 'them,' although I do think I work pretty hard to avoid making statements just for the sake of making statements.

The whole thing aggravates me no end. What do we gain by davkahood? It's not even about making a point, really, let alone convincing anyone - it's about playing a role, to make ourselves feel good.

And, of course, the big question - does it make us feel good, in the end? If it does, then why do we need to keep doing it?

Altering the mood before a meeting

A lot… a lot… a lot… going on here, and very little time for writing the sefer, let alone the blog. Let alone doing my job.

The other day I read an article about choosing your motivational song, something that would inspire you and get your adrenaline pumping before a key meeting or challenge.

I’ve been doing this for years, and it has a sound basis in Torah (think Dovid playing music for Shaul, as well as the prohibitions against post-Churban music), but in my experience this requires some care because of the power of music as an emotion-shaper. First you need to know what mood you wish to inspire, before you can choose the right song. If that step doesn’t happen first, the result can be a horror.

Some songs get me into more of a fighting mode - VaYiven Uziyahu by the Piamentas is a good example - a song with a serious drum, and solid electric guitar in the background. But if I’m going into a touchy political meeting, that’s not the right song; I’m apt to come out swinging.

On the other hand, some music is good for mellowing me; softer music, something classical. It’s not really to my liking, but it works - I come out of it patient and thoughtful.

There are other ways to alter a mood, beyond music. A rebbe of mine, decades ago, counseled me to deal with complex issues by stopping what I was doing and learning a daf of gemara before returning to the topic at hand. It works very well - as a distraction, as a re-focusing away from my personal emotions, as a chance to do some learning and feel good afterward. Learning can alter a mood.

Learning specific topics also helps. Learning mussar is humbling. Learning certain works of halachah inclines me toward toughness. Learning other sefarim opens my mind in other ways.

Exercise is a mood-alterer, too. Depression can be heavily influenced by a shortage of neurotransmitters like serotonin and norepinephrine. Exercise increases concentrations of these neurotransmitters by stimulating the sympathetic nervous system. There’s more to it, too; see here for some fascinating information.

Sleep changes my mood - the more sleep I get, the calmer I tend to be.

Food changes my mood - although far less predictably. The type of food, the speed of the meal, etc, produce different results.

Time with kids - mine or those of others - changes my mood, generally positively.

Reading the news tends to be a mood-alterer, but not necessarily in a positive way. That’s a good way to get me into a combative mood heading into a meeting.

That’s my brief collection, in the few moments I found to blog today. What other methods do you have?